I Feel Like an Entirely New Person

narconon suncoast success AJ

As a young boy, I grew up in a strict household where I was always put down. I wasn’t allowed to speak my mind or stand up to my parents, whether I was right or wrong. I was always getting into some sort of trouble and getting grounded. I never learned to cope with my problems or handle situations that arose in life. As a result, I became an angry, frustrated young man who couldn’t express himself or confront his problems. As a young teenager I found marijuana and alcohol. This opened up a whole new world to me where I could escape the anger, frustrations, and insecurities I had in my life. I found when I was drunk or high, I was outgoing, happy, careless, and unafraid to voice my feelings or opinions. By the age of sixteen, I gave up marijuana and used alcohol exclusively, until I tried cocaine in my early twenties. I never felt like a whole person before I used drugs and alcohol and I was fooling myself into thinking I was when I would use.

I met and married my first wife right around the time I found cocaine. During the next 17 years of marriage, my sobriety depended on how my marriage was doing. My not being able to cope or handle my problems was having a negative effect not just on my marriage, but also my life in general. Clearly something was wrong and something needed to be done about my addictions.

In 1989 I had enough of the ups and downs of addiction and went to an outpatient rehab program for eight weeks. There, I learned just enough to live sober, however, I didn’t learn all I needed to stay sober for more than five years. I hadn’t learned to be strong enough to cope with or handle the hardships that life throws at us. I lacked the tools and life skills to get to the root of my problems and deal with them head on without drugs or alcohol. What I did discover in those five years sober was that I liked life and myself sober, however, my struggle wasn’t over yet.

When my marriage ended I sunk deeper into alcohol until I met and married my second wife. I remarried mainly sober with occasional relapses. When my second marriage ended, I went right back to alcohol. For the next two years, I drank daily, feeling sorry for myself and hiding from the world until I met and married my third wife. When my wife made it clear she wasn’t comfortable with my drinking, I used alcohol occasionally, struggling to keep it under control. After a year and a half of marriage, my third wife and I separated for 8 months. Once again, I sunk back into daily alcohol abuse. We got back together after eight months and my drinking was minimal.

In 2013, I hurt my back and began to use prescription pain medication, adding another addiction to my life. In November 2016, I confessed to my wife that I had an addiction to pain medication and she asked me to leave and filed for divorce; once again feeling weak, hurt, and alone. I dove deeper into drug and alcohol use. Finally in February 2017, my addiction caught up with me when I had a car accident while driving drunk. I got arrested for a DUI and spent the night in jail. One week later, I reached out to my son and his wife, and they brought me to Narconon Suncoast.

Here I went through the sauna program, getting the drugs and alcohol out of my system. With a clear mind and body I was now ready for the Objectives part of the program. This was an entirely new and different experience for me. There I began to look at myself and my existence in this world in an entirely different way. I learned a lot about myself, my abilities, and my short comings. I finished Objectives a better person, ready for the next step, Life Skills. There, I looked at the people in my life, I looked at the actions I’ve taken, and the effect they had on myself and all else in this universe. I also came to realize that although I always justified my addictions as though I was wronged by someone else, I could clearly see for the first time in my life that I was the one responsible for my problems.

I feel like an entirely new and different person. I now feel I have an inner strength and calmness I have never felt before. I feel I can go back into the world as a whole person, not the half person I felt I was since childhood. I look forward to making better choices about my life and my future, such as who’s in it and how I deal with the situations that arise in daily life. I feel I can achieve success in anything I choose to work at. I truly feel blessed to be a part of this program at Narconon Suncoast.

AUTHOR

Jason Good

Jason has been working in the field of addiction and recovery for over 11 years. Having been an addict himself he brings real-word experience to the table when helping addicts and their families, while also offering a first-person perspective to the current drug crisis. Jason is passionate about educating the public about what’s currently going on in our society, and thankfully, offers practical solutions. Jason is also the co-host of The Addiction Podcast—Point of No Return. You can follow Jason on Google+, Twitter, or connect with him on LinkedIn.

NARCONON SUNCOAST

DRUG EDUCATION AND REHABILITATION