The Hard but Necessary Truth
Here is a good perspective from one of our successful graduates on how getting honest with himself and others has helped him both to overcome his addiction and stay clean:
I have been thinking a lot recently about the ability to speak your mind in any situation that is needed. Not only do I feel that whomever you are speaking to will respect you more for being honest and upfront, but I think it helps to not have something weighing on your mind and questioning yourself as to whether or not you should have said something. I often will be in a conversation with someone and they say something with a tone like they want you to believe what they are saying, but their face tells a totally different story. I ask them what they really meant or what they are thinking about. Sometimes the person immediately says what they have on their mind and sometimes they don’t. The thing I don’t understand is why the hesitation?
I have done this myself recently where one of my coworkers asked me about something going on and instead of telling them what was really bothering me I instead chose to say everything is fine. In truth, there was something I wanted to get off my chest. I caught myself and went to have the conversation with them that needed to be had. Most times it works out to my benefit to speak openly and honestly instead of leaving someone guessing. This is true with addiction more than any other situation.
When you approach an addict and ask them what is going on or why they are acting differently, often they will immediately shy away, change the topic, or turn the conversation around and push it back on you. That right there is an indicator that you have gotten the answer to your question. Something is obviously being withheld and unless it is brought to light there is no chance at ever helping that person get better and live a successful and healthy life.
“… no matter what it is I am here to help and support you. Please just tell me what is going on.”
I still remember the day that my mother sat me down at the kitchen table and asked me what was going on. I had been using for about 4 years at this point and wouldn’t speak to anyone about it, especially my mother. She kept on saying the same thing repeatedly, “no matter what it is I am here to help and support you. Please just tell me what is going on.” Even still I didn’t say anything for about 3 hours. Finally, when my sickness started to kick in because I hadn't used yet that day, I knew I needed to tell her, or I wasn’t going to be able to leave.
I told her that I was addicted to pain medication and had been using them for quite some time now. She started to cry even more than she already had, embraced me, and told me that she was going to find me the help I needed and that I was going to get better. As quickly as I could I left and went to meet my dealer. I didn’t have to be sick anymore. I continued using for over 3 years after that day despite going to rehab and having all the support and love my mother could give me.
I brought up that story because until I was able to get honest nothing was ever going to change. Eventually, years later, when I really did get honest and was forthcoming with everything that was going on, I was able to let go and finally free myself of the demon known as addiction. I have always wondered what would have happened if I had just been upfront and honest with my mom that day at the kitchen table, come clean about it all, maybe I wouldn’t have had those 3 plus years added on to my story as an addict. However, it’s a valuable lesson for my life today. Now I live every day trying to be upfront about what is on my mind, what is going on, and find ways to hold myself accountable. If I’m not, I catch myself and remedy the situation as quickly as possible.
If you’re out there struggling, perhaps it’s time to get honest with yourself and let someone know what’s really on your mind so you can get the help that you deserve and never have to touch drugs or alcohol ever again. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for help.
Jordan M., Narconon Suncoast Graduate