“Mom, It’s Just Weed…”

An early morning call from my ex-husband started with him interrogating me about my 21-year-old son’s work and social habits. Our 21-year-old son lives in a house with roommates, pays his own rent, works a good job and takes a couple classes at community college. He’s always been independent but still comes by to see me each week and helps me with whatever I might need or just stops by to say hello.

As if his opening line of the early morning phone call wasn’t bad enough, the alarming parts came next.

“Did you know our son went to Los Angeles, got beaten up and kidnapped?“

“WHAAAAT? Is he alright?“

“Yes, he is, but he needs to move and so do you. These guys are pure evil!“

The panic that ensued had this mom call me for advice on how to handle a situation that had seemingly gone from her son, let’s call him Jon, occasionally using marijuana to having drug dealers from Los Angeles looking for him in Florida. I asked her to explain how it had escalated from “casual recreational use” to a bad episode of a popular Netflix show. It’s a story that is repeated over and over in families all around the country.

It seems that Jon had spent several hours a night playing video games online where he met other young people with similar interests. One local player befriended him and they were soon messaging each other regularly about life, which also included their mutual interest in smoking weed. Over the next few weeks, Jon’s new friend, let’s call him Kyle, told him about this great weed he’d gotten from California and asked if Jon wanted to try some. Of course he did, and Kyle brought some by Jon’s work.

Jon loved the weed and Kyle asked if he knew anyone else who might want to buy some. Of course he did. Kyle offered to sell Jon some of the high-grade weed that he could then sell to others and keep the profits. So began Jon’s career as a drug dealer.

Over the next 6 months, the dealing grew. The weed was mailed from Los Angeles to Kyle and then distributed to his new dealers (Jon wasn’t the only one). The money for the pot was mailed back to California and the profits split locally amongst the guys selling. This all went well until one cash envelope was noticed by the Postal Service. They called and told Jon that he shouldn’t send this much cash through the mail. The post office deposited the cash and sent him a certified check. Jon put into his checking account but the snag came when he was told by Kyle that he needed to send cash to Los Angeles. Jon went and withdrew the cash and was going to mail it the next day.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Jon’s place was robbed that night by a rival dealer. The money was gone, so Kyle and Jon searched and tried to find the other dealer who they suspected of stealing the cash, but to no avail. They now had to figure out how to get the money for the west coast dealers.

Jon started receiving threatening phone calls.

“Where’s our money at?”

“You’d better come through!”

Jon had no choice but to go out to California and try to make things right, maybe at the cost of his own life. These were no small-town dealers. They are in this business for one reason— money. They don’t care about mistakes, come through with money or get dropped.

Thinking that he could talk his way out of a major problem, Jon flew to California. He was picked up at the airport, interrogated, beaten up, and then taken to a local ATM to take out whatever cash he had in his account. That was the option if he wanted to live. Luckily his nervous demeanor at the bank was noticed by a teller who made him come inside to get the cash, while she called the police. The police came and arrested his abductors and he was free to go.

You’d think that would be that. It could be. You have your child disconnect his phone, move and switch jobs and he should be fine. Unfortunately, the saga continues for this family, as the LA drug dealers recently copped a plea bargain, got out of jail and then messaged Jon’s father on Facebook. They reported it and are waiting to see where that goes. They are still out there, hoping for the best, waiting for the worst. All this drama over “smoking just a little bit” of weed.

So when a parent tells me that their child is just “smoking a little weed” and “every teen does,” this is the story I will now tell them about “just smoking a little weed” and how it can ruin a lot of lives very, very quickly. The truth is every time you engage in an illegal activity, there are serious risks. It’s a roll of the dice. This time it didn’t turn out too well, but luckily, no one has died over it.