Addiction, a Cat, a Ball Python, and Urban Decay
It was Friday night and I took a ride with one of our students over to his former apartment to get some of his things. He had been in treatment about six weeks, when his ex-girlfriend had called from jail to let him know she wasn’t living there, the apartment had been broken into and he should check on his remaining things. As is often the case with addicts going into treatment, he had packed up his essentials and left the rest of his life behind in a somewhat “safe” environment and went to rehab. That changed rapidly after his ex-girlfriend got busted and their friends knew the apartment was vacant. She took no responsibility for having left his place open or having others stay there while her ex was in treatment. After all, they were both addicts and their addictions were the priority; not their stuff or where they lived.
Sometimes families ask me how their kids or loved ones could get so irresponsible about life when they use drugs. The answer is simple, the addiction makes you forget everything else. They might occasionally remember an unlocked door, or a cat that hasn’t eaten in a week, or a mother who needs a call on her birthday, but fueling the addiction really becomes the all-encompassing goal of the addict’s mind and life.
On the ride over to his nice, middle-class neighborhood, our student spoke of his “other life” where he was a successful salesman and a father and participated in life. He is the kind of charismatic “tough guy” you’d like to have over for a barbeque or football game. I also heard more about his other occupation… addict and part-time drug dealer. This is an all too common reality for those who use drugs. Sooner or later your addiction gets too big, you run through your money, even when you are making good money and your “friend” asks you to deliver something or get some new clients for him and sets you up for business. Unfortunately, this business always ends up sucking the life and freedom from the person who gets trapped in it.
When we got to the apartment, you could see that a bedroom window had been broken out and replaced with what looked like a spare kitchen cupboard door and some plastic wrap. The fact that the management hadn’t noticed this was a bit disconcerting. I waited in the truck while my coworker, an Army Vet, and our student went into the apartment. Once I got the all OK sign from my co-worker, I went inside. It was horrendous. Piles of stuff everywhere, jumbled, tossed and scattered all over. There were obvious signs that even before the break-in, there had been a pretty high disregard for the things and the place itself. Naturally, our student was very upset seeing his belongings and personal possessions strewn everywhere. And of course, anything of value had been stolen.
Just as we turned to come out of the master bedroom, a man in his mid-thirties entered the apartment saying “Oh, I’m so glad you guys are here! I’ve been trying to keep the looters out while I was waiting for you! Who are you, anyway?” “No, who are YOU?” asked the student. The man explained he had been renting a bedroom from “Fred” for the last few weeks, as were some others. Our student didn’t know “Fred”, or any of the names he mentioned, but knew the man was wearing one of his polo shirts and carrying a familiar duffel bag. When the man started making excuses and skirting questions, I knew it was time for me to make it for the door. Luckily the squatter decided to peacefully take off the shirt and empty the other contents of the duffel bag and leave before anger turned to action.
After the squatter left, we went back to gathering up the remaining personal items for our student and putting them in the truck. That is when I saw a cute orange cat out on the porch meowing at his owner, who was visibly upset, packing up remnants of his possessions. My co-worker and I got hold of the cat and placed him into a cat carrier I’d found in the rubble and put him safely in the truck. Then there was the ball python, left in an aquarium filled with molted snake skins and mulch. The student said to take him out to the truck too.
What has happened to us America? I know there is a drug epidemic. I work with its survivors every day, but this little trip into the underbelly of my community hit home hard. I never thought about the impact that drug use is having not just on the families, but on the physical environment of every town and city in America. Urban decay isn’t caused by the lack of care for buildings and storefronts; it’s the lack of adequate care for our people, our neighbors and our families.
What struck me most was wondering about how many apartments and homes in my county… with not only animals but also children, who have been left to fend for themselves? How many children have gone begging to the neighbors, like this cat, to survive? I stood in a microcosm of what child welfare workers uncover every day. I wiped my eyes and drove this survivor and the remnants of his former life back to the treatment center.
My solace was that this experience also really touched this former addict. He had some great realizations about how much he had stolen from others and that he felt this theft and vandalism from him was his “payback”. He also realized his relationship with that ex-girlfriend had been long over and it was only drugs which forced them to remain together. The next day, as he showed me how to hold the python, he explained how he could now see himself picking better partners for a sober life. And he said he might even think about getting married again so his kids would have stable adults and he would have a teammate. He smiled when he spoke of never-ever having to come home to an “un-done” life of decay. He had certainty he was going to complete his rehab program and create a new, strong, sober life, right here in the community in which he’d grown up…. grown up for real now.
That made me smile.
Y.R. – Narconon Suncoast Staff Member
