Life Is About Balance

Introvert – to direct one’s interest, mind or attention upon oneself.
Being an introvert may not seem like it’s a big deal, while in reality, it is. Focusing on only yourself can cause you to become very egocentric. There are many different aspects of life; yourself, your family and relationships, your groups, mankind, other living organisms and the physical universe. If you make decisions based on only one aspect of your life, it will begin to crumble the other parts. In the case of being an introvert, your only focus is on yourself. In the game of life, one must be comfortable with social interactions to succeed. How many successful people have you heard of that have done it all on their own, without the help of others? This leads me to my story…
Ever since I was in the 3rd grade, I’ve felt like I was an outcast to life. My brother was extremely talented at Martial Arts, so we would spend every weekend traveling from city to city so my brother could compete. The car rides were what made these trips the worst. My brother had his headphones in the whole time, my dad was only focused on driving, and my mom was always sleeping. I felt like I had nobody at all, so my solution at the time was to introvert myself, away from the group. By the time I got to 7th grade, we had already gone to so many competitions that I would opt to sit in the car for an 8-hour tournament (my parents would check on me frequently). His competitions didn’t pertain to me at all, so why would I care? I grew up my whole life with the “I’m an outcast” mindset. By the time I got to High School, I was 15 years old. I realized, “hey, maybe if I only stick to myself, I can get out of here with minimal confrontation.” And that’s exactly what I did. Sure, I had friends, but to be totally real, I didn’t give a single damn about any of them. By the time I headed off to college, I started using drugs to mask the fact that I had made myself an outcast. I became very anti-social, only talking to my parents when I needed money. I would get high, stay up all night and manipulate people for my own personal gain.
After withdrawing from school during the 2nd semester of my Freshman year, I moved to the Philippines to try and restart my life. I thought the change of environment and nice view would completely change my mindset. I felt no change at all. I was lying to my parents, my friends, my girlfriend, everyone. I didn’t want people to know the real me, so I kept to myself and just made people guess. Of course, you’re going to be shy, being in another country for the first time, but had I known how to confront mankind, I could’ve gotten better acquainted.
I’ve burnt so many bridges just because I didn’t know how to confront situations in my life.
I always thought it was easier to get high instead of talking to people. I had the mindset because I grew up thinking that I was an outcast and I based my whole life around that statement. Only focusing on myself caused me to not be able to pay attention to the other parts of my life. Being an introvert may seem like a good solution, but it causes one to forget about everything else. Life is about balance, and the better you can balance it, the better you can handle it.
J.F. – Narconon Suncoast Student