I Found a New Respect for Myself

I always knew I was tough, but everyone has a chink in their armor somewhere. I found how much I had out-casted myself during my addiction. Realizing through this program how close I was to becoming another statistic was, and still is, very haunting.

My family found Narconon Suncoast. I had no idea what to expect, I just knew I needed help. Withdrawal was one of the hardest steps of this program because that’s where I was fighting the most with ’demons.’ I was fresh off the street and it still had its hold on me. The Withdrawal professionals took great care of me 24/7, even when I was really being an S.O.B. I was uncomfortable at times, but nothing like trying to ’cold turkey’ it.

As I got into the Sauna Detox, I realized I hadn’t done anything sober for over two and a half years. I saw how everyone who was further along in their program was acting and feeling good, so I gave in to the program and gave it a try. I gave in to the process, shut up and did what I was asked. Of course, it was tough at first, but little by little, I sweated that toxic stuff out of my body and my body started feeling good again. I slept well and got more active and my coordination came back.

The same happened in the Objectives Course. This part was oriented towards my brain and being able to control my mind and my thoughts again. A lot of stuff came up during the drills that would normally make me return to drugs. Yeah, it’s a controlled environment, but I needed those ’training wheels’ to get that first realization and continue to gain control over my mind again. After Objectives, I had my body and my mind back and feeling absolutely great. I was 100% sold on the holistic nature of the program. I was already pretty sure I’d never need drugs again.

I was the most nervous about the Life Skills Courses because I knew I was going to face the side of me I despised with a passion. The approach was different than what I thought it would be. The way we reconnected with people in our lives was great. Instead of apologizing and bringing up all the bad stuff, I kept it light while still addressing the ’elephant in the room;’ reconnecting to my family as the sober me.

I especially liked handling the wrongs I had done and seeing how it had affected me and kept me doing the same stupid things again and again. This individualized process really had me learn about me and what my actions had cost me in my life. I was a Marine and there was stuff I planned on taking to the grave. Being able to get everything out of my head that I had bottled up with no justifications helped me blow through the trauma and pain and let it go for good. I actually felt lighter on my feet from getting the weight of all that stuff off my shoulders.

Doing the Conditions in Life Course was powerful. I realized I can always improve the condition I’m in. No more victim of addiction here. To actually text my dealers saying I am done with them instead of just disappearing—very intense. I am actually fighting back against the epidemic that is ruining lives all around the world. I was very intrigued by the definition of the condition of ’Normal,’ which means a steady increase and improvement. That was different for me. Life was not just the 9-5, come home, sleep, and do it all over again. It made me remember how many goals I have in life and reaching them takes a steady improvement and action each day.

For the last 2 and a half years, I have been searching for the joy in life, the happiness for everything I had as a kid. I’ve found it, with a new strength and wisdom I never knew existed. I will forever be in debt to this place for teaching me how to get my life back.

 - Anonymous