Drugs and Alcohol Gave me a False Sense of Not Caring

The Objectives are one of the most important and life-changing courses the students at Narconon Suncoast will go through. By stepping back from their lives, looking at the past with a new viewpoint, and bringing their attention to the “here and now,” students are finally able to shut the door on the past and move forward without feeling the constant pain of negative life experiences.
Profound changes regularly occur during the Objectives and here are one recent student’s results:
“By doing the Objectives course, I have gained so many valuable realizations. I had some good wins on ’letting go,’ on ’control,’ and on being able to communicate better. I’ve learned there are many people and events in my past that I held grudges about that I need to let go of.
“The decision and action of choosing to let go of an object were simple but profound. I thought, ’why can’t I decide to let go of people (and past events) with the same readiness that I am doing these Objective exercises?’
“It’s really that simple! The past is the past, I can’t change it. I do, however, have the control to make better decisions in the here and now. I realize now how I can control issues. I was always trying to control people, places, and things. I can see that there are certain things within my control (like my environment, my actions/reactions, etc.) but there are things in life I cannot control, like other people’s actions, reactions, outcomes, will not always be within my control.
“I now have the awareness to discern the difference. I also have more awareness about why I used drugs and alcohol. I didn’t accept life or people as they were. I was always in conflict with how things ’should’ be. I wanted to control everything because I felt so out-of-control physically, mentally, and spiritually.
“Drugs and alcohol gave me a false sense of not caring. In reality, I’ve always caved. I also thought I used drugs and alcohol because I had ’such bad anxiety ’and it helped me to ’deal better.’ That was so far from the truth. Drugs and alcohol only made the problem worse.
“I was using drugs to avoid life instead of confronting it. I think my anxiety was a physical symptom of a much greater problem; the inability to take responsibility for my actions, hiding from my problems and the discomfort of not being okay with the present.
“When I started Objectives and was truly able to become present, the anxiety started to slip away. I am comfortable being in present time! I am so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I’m not hiding, I’m living!
“Another realization is the awareness of how much I can be a perfectionist. I had every intention of re-writing this letter to make it appear perfect until I realized it would be beneficial for me to keep this draft exactly as it is instead of operating off a compulsive and perfectionistic nature.
“I just want ’to be ’ and the freedom to be me, not presenting myself as I think people want me to be. I want to be liberated and it’s within my control to grant myself that freedom
“Another thing I’ve benefitted out of Objectives is the ability to communicate better, that is, to communicate with myself better, my environment, and to communicate with others better. I feel more confident in expressing myself to another person and feeling heard.
“I feel I can give a command in a direct and appropriate manner. I know I can use this when it comes to disciplining and in general communication with my daughter. I wasn’t comfortable being an authoritative figure when it came to parenting.
“I have benefitted so much from Objectives. It’s ignited something within me that I want more of.
“Thank you to all the staff at Narconon Suncoast for facilitating this process and for your detailed explanations of what Objectives are all about.”