47 Days Into Recovery;
A Candid Conversation with
an Ex-Drug Addict
On December 24th, 2015 Melissa entered our facility un-showered, dangerously malnourished, dirt caked up under her fingernails and wearing three-day old clothes. She was armed only with her family’s support, a slight glimmer of hope and a desire to not die and become another statistic of the drug epidemic. Melissa arrived in a highly fragile state; traumatized from years of methamphetamine and heroin abuse. In a short period of time Melissa underwent a complete metamorphosis and began to shed her cocoon. I sat with Melissa and had an eye-opening discussion with her about her journey into recovery.
The Conversation
Tell me about your decision to seek treatment.
“I had tried so many times to get clean. The only thing that ever kept me clean temporarily was drug court. I knew I had to pass the urine tests in order to stay out of jail so that was a pretty good motivation not to use. I stayed clean for 18 months and the day my drug court ended I had my dealer meet me across the street from the court and I got high. This time I needed to find something that actually worked. I had never heard of Narconon so there was some hope in a new program with a new approach. I was going to die. It was time to do something about the life I’d been living.”
So it was that easy to just go back to that lifestyle after being clean for so long?
“Oh absolutely. I never felt right when I was sober. I always felt like something was missing. There was a void inside me only drugs could fill. I didn’t feel good about myself. I never really have. Drugs made me feel like I wasn’t just a worthless waste of life. When I got high I had all the confidence in the world and felt like I could accomplish anything. But all I really ended up doing was destroying everything around me. When I use I don’t use just a little bit. I go all out and use as much as possible as often as I can. I couldn’t ever hold a job because I usually got fired for stealing money out of the drawer or I would get caught being high on the job.”
How did you support your drug habit then if you couldn’t work?
“Use your imagination…I would lie, shoplift from stores, steal from my mom, scam my friends. I probably would have sold my mother into slavery if it meant I could get high at least for a couple hours.”
How does your family feel about your addiction?
“My family had accepted that I was probably going to die before I ever got clean. I had failed to get clean so many times that they actually bought a burial plot for me. Every time the phone rang my mom was afraid it’s a call telling her that I ‘m dead. Anytime sirens would go by the house she thought the cops or paramedics are going to find my lifeless body. And I was okay with that. I hated my very existence. I pretty much knew I’d never get clean unless some miracle occurred. Even my drug addict friends would look at me judgmentally and say ‘you need serious help.’ That was laughable. They didn’t want to get clean themselves but I was so close to dying they were highly recommending I get some serious treatment. “
Why did you decide to try and get clean again?
“Honestly I owed it to my family to try one last time before just completely giving up. Narconon seemed different, like it could actually work. Coming to treatment this time was the first time I’d ever gone so far from home. It was my first plane ride and I’m 35 years old. “
I’m sure that was a big deal for you.
“It was. I used to be so terrified by the idea of flying and since I was so close to death I didn’t even care if the plane crashed. If it did at least I would’ve been put out of my misery.”
How was your first few days after arriving into treatment?
“It was hard. Four days into my detox I was miserable. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, I was restless but in retrospect I’m glad it was hard. I had to actually confront my withdrawals head-on and deal with them and not take any other drugs to deal with the pain. It really made me appreciate sobriety and every day that I don’t wake up sick and needing drugs.”
So you’re 47 days into recovery. What do you think about your new-found sobriety?
“I honestly never thought it was possible to feel good without drugs. I feel better now than I have in my entire life. I don’t feel like I need drugs anymore. The New Life Detoxification made me feel like my old self again, like I did when I was a teenager before I ever did drugs. I feel energetic and that I can enjoy the little things in life again like feeling the sunshine on my skin. It’s like being born again in your adult life. I couldn’t be happier because I never thought this was possible. For once I’m excited about the future and I’m happy my parents won’t have to deal with the pain of burying their daughter. I have goals now, I have things that I want to accomplish. I feel driven again. It’s unbelievable.”
In just 47 days a down-and-out drug addict has blossomed into a completely new person. For Melissa, the unattainable reality of sobriety has now come within reach. Weeks earlier she was dirty, unkempt and riddled with fear, self-loathing and apathy. Now, she is transformed, has a new zest for life and can’t wait to see what the future brings.
If you or someone you care about is suffering from the downward spiral of addiction call Narconon Suncoast now!
