Finally Proud of the Person I Am

 

I was raised in Johnsonville, South Carolina and before I started using drugs I was always really outgoing and happy and spent a lot of time with friends.

I started using when I was 17 but it was when I was 21 that it really became a problem. I started out doing it for fun, and I would party on the weekends.

Drugs affected me pretty badly. I had to give up my life so I could come to rehab. I didn’t care about anything. My family didn’t trust me. Finally, I had had enough. I decided I would rather die than live this way. I was in a toxic relationship. I wasn’t happy and my kids weren’t happy. All my money was going to drugs.

I remember the night I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t recognize myself anymore. My eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and my face was covered in scabs. I felt disgusted looking at myself—that was the night I made up my mind I didn’t want to live trapped in addiction any longer. I had about four different centers on my list but my family wanted me at Narconon. I was so nervous knowing I’d be going through withdrawals but I was even more excited knowing it would be the last time I’d ever go through that. When I arrived, the staff instantly made me feel comfortable. I knew I had finally made a good decision for myself. I made it through withdrawal a lot easier than I anticipated. I went through sauna and I thought I hated it but as soon as I finished, I missed it. My favorite part of the program was Objectives. Once I saw the process work, I couldn’t get enough. I also got a lot out of Life Skills. I’ve learnt so many important tools I’ll use the rest of my life. I also got a lot of relief by taking responsibility for my actions and finally getting 100% honest about my life.

“I’m happier now than I’ve been in years and for the first time I’m actually proud of the person I am.”

Throughout my program, I’ve also had the opportunity to help facilitate other students and get back in the Objectives Course Room to help out and I’ve absolutely loved doing that. I never thought I’d be able to say I went to rehab and loved it so much I decided to stay, but that’s what’s happened. I’m so thankful I made the decision to get clean and change my life, and I’m also thankful for everyone here at Narconon who has helped me along the way. I’m happier now than I’ve been in years, and for the first time, I’m actually proud of the person I am.

Getting through each milestone of the program was a big achievement. I have never really completed anything I have started besides this. My proudest accomplishment is completing this program.

My relationship with my family is a lot better than it was. It’s going to take a while to regain all the trust that I lost, but they are all very proud of me and can tell a big difference in me. Everyone that has spoken to me says that I sound better.

What I love about being drug-free is not waking up feeling bad every morning. I laugh a lot now and I am actually happy with the person that I am sober.

Addiction is not worth it. It is a never-ending cycle. I have lost a lot of time that I can’t get back to addiction. Getting clean is scary, but it is absolutely doable and worth it.

Brandi T., Narconon Suncoast Graduate