When Do You Just Give Up?
Dealing with a loved one who is an addict presents multiple challenges. Deciding to send them to rehab, not enabling them or disconnecting from them completely are just a few of the challenges that lay ahead. You may have done all of the above and still watch the addict continuously self-destruct despite the tears, the fights, the begging and listening to the heart-stopping sound of ambulance sirens off in the distance, hoping it’s not for your son or daughter; everything to keep from losing hope that they will ever get sober.
There’s nothing worse than watching a loved one relapse after treatment. While they’re in there supposedly putting their lives back together, you sit at home, eager to see the new, bright and shiny version of the person that was shooting heroin, selling their belongings and stealing from your wallet. Once discharged from rehab, you dream of the new life they will have. They might actually go back to “normal” and “be somebody.”
Then it happens.
It’s 8pm and you’re sitting down for dinner. He was supposed to be there an hour ago. You call his cell phone. No answer. You call again and still no answer. You call everyone you can think of to find him. After panicking for an hour you drive over to his apartment. As you walk in there’s half-eaten food all over the table. The dishes look like they haven’t been done in years. Stale smoke lingers in the living room. You open the bathroom door to find your son, slumped over, OD’d on heroin. The paramedics come and hit him with Narcan twice and bring him back.
Thank God.
After a few days in the ICU he is released and comes back home. You sit him down and tell him he needs to go back to treatment to figure out what happened, what he missed and what he needs to get clean.
“No way! I’m not going back!”
He packs some dirty clothes into a backpack and leaves.
What do you do then? Turn your back and forget about it?
That’s impossible.
A parent will never stop worrying about their addicted child. But what do you do when help has failed and they refuse to try again?
Giving up is never the answer. Sure, it might be easier to write them off and say the family is better off without them but that rarely ever gets the problem handled. Once the addict gives up on himself, all bets are off.
Never stop trying to help. Never give up trying to get them the right help they need for their addiction. Don’t give them a safety net, however. If they need money… too bad. If they are hungry and need food… no way. If they’re dirty and need a shower… forget it. Help them but don’t do anything to give them a “soft landing” and allow them to continue using and eventually die.
No addict ever said:
“If it wasn’t for my parents making my life easier while I was a junkie I wouldn’t have gotten sober.”
Letting them feel the consequences of their behavior WILL. To answer the question “When do you just give up?” the answer is:
Never.
Don’t ever give up on your addict. As much as you might want to, don’t stop helping. Do everything you can to the addict into treatment and onto the road to recovery.
Call Narconon Suncoast today if your loved one has failed rehab in the past.
